May 29, 2004

A razor that moves?

Ok a quick rant to get your blood pumping on a drizzly Thursday morning:
What, in God's name, is this?
A vibrating razor? Is that really all the boffins at the Gillette lab' could come up with?
Obviously they couldn't go for the five blades option, because then real life would be imitating the Onion, and then time would start running backwards, etc.
But a razor that moves?
Let's face it, if we wanted our razor to shake about during our morning shave then we could just go out and get very pissed the night before. That usually seems to do the trick.
According to the website, the Gillette Mach 3 Power is a "breakthrough experience":
"After trying the razor for the first time I really liked how it felt," says one testimony, before continuing in a slightly defensive tone: "I knew it was safe it use."
Another, unnamed, user rhapsodises: "More than anything the micro-pulses make the shave more pleasurable"
More pleasurable? Since when was shaving pleasurable at all?
Why do people like Gillette and Wilkinson Sword insist on trying to convince us that male grooming is leisure activity along the same lines as windsurfing and rock climbing?
Forget about genetic engineering and cloning, it's the advancement of razor technology that needs to be stopped. These people are crazy.
We're seriously thinking of reverting to those dinky little Bic disposals that you get in a big plastic bag.
At least you don't have to put a battery in those.